


I Love Him

by nazangel



Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [2]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Baz doesn't know, M/M, Pining Simon Snow, drunk baz, simon loves baz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:07:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazangel/pseuds/nazangel
Summary: It's their fifth year and Simon's in love with Baz.
Series: Carry On Countdown 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554211
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	I Love Him

**SIMON**

For the hundredth time that night, I try to shut my eyes and go to sleep, but I can't.

Baz isn't back in his bed yet.

_Ugh_

I shouldn't care. Five years of him hating me and being cruel to me. I shouldn't care.

I tried not to care.

I do care. I care too much.

I sigh and roll out of bed. Might as well take a walk.

And if I end up in the catacombs...oh well.

**BAZ**

I suck the last of the blood from the rat and chuck it aside. Leaning my head against the wall of the catacombs, I pick up the unfinished bottle of whiskey and take a long swig.

It's good to have some peace.

Simon's been even more annoying than usual. Fifth-year started a few months ago, and he won't leave me alone. He is always following me, always accusing me of plotting.

It was so annoying. Why couldn't he mind his own business? Him with his hard eyes and even harder words. What was his problem? If he hated me so much, he should keep his distance. Or just kill me.

Instead, he followed me around like a lost puppy.

As I took another swig, I could feel myself getting a little more dizzy and disoriented. I had always been a little bit of a lightweight. The first time I had gotten drunk had been last summer on my father's vodka. The resulting conversation had been something I could have lived without.

Heaving another sigh and trying to block Simon from my mind, I decided to finish the bottle.

I've already started my descent into drunkness, might as well commit to it.

**SIMON**

This time I last about twenty minutes before ending up at the entrance of the catacombs.

I always end up here on the days Baz is late.

He thinks its to annoy him, to make sure he isn't plotting anything.

He's wrong. I'm worried. He looks so haunted all the time, and the nightmares make it worse. He wakes up crying and then I can hear him sniffling until he falls asleep again. A few times, I heard him cry out for his parents.

If I could, I would go to him, hold him in my arms, wipe away his tears and kiss away his pain.

But I can't.

He hates me. He's always made that much clear, calling me the worst chosen one and a failure.

So in turn, I call him a vampire, a creature, evil. But I don't really mean it.

He's just...he's just Baz.

A boy. A vampire boy I'm in love with.

Sighing, I shake my head and take out my sword. The glow from it makes it easier to navigate the darkness of the catacombs.

I find Baz deep inside where his mother is, drinking something out of a bottle. Even from here, I can tell he's completely sloshed.

He looks up once he notices me, and my breath catches in my throat. He's so beautiful.

Baz tilts his head to look at me, and I brace myself for the oncoming insults. It's how it always goes. He starts by insulting me. I accuse him of plotting or being a vampire. We get into a vicious fight until someone storms off.

Usually me. (He's just so kissable when he gets angry)

Except, it doesn't go like that this time. For a few minutes, he just looks at me, staring for so long that I start to become nervous.

"Come to kill me, Snow?"

I feel like someone's punched me in the throat.

"It would save you a lot of future trouble,"

And, oh, of course, I know what he's talking about. The final battle where one of us dies, one of us kills the other.

_I don't want to kill him._

Not now. Not ever.

"You're drunk, Baz," I tell him. It's the only reason he isn't insulting me right now.

He snots and tips the bottle back, swallowing the last of the drink. I shamelessly watch his pale neck as his throat bobs up and down.

God, he's beautiful.

"If you're not going to kill me," he says," putting the bottle down, "Leave,"

"You're drunk, Baz. I'm not going to leave you here in the cold,"

He sneers, "Always the hero, Simon. Too bad you're rubbish at it,"

Well, that sounds more like him. I pat my jacket, and sure enough, my mini torch is still there. Its something I keep with me while being moved around the homes and one of the few possessions I bring with me to Watford.

Putting the sword away, I use the light from the torch to navigate my way toward Baz.

I try to take to help him up, but he bats my hand away, "Don't touch me, Snow,"

I sigh, "Fine, try to walk on your own?"

He stands up, stumbles, and then slides back down again and stare up at the ceiling, quietly grumbling under his breath.

I shake my head and go to help him again. This time he lets me. I lead him out of the catacombs and toward our room. Surprisingly, he stays quiet and allows me keep an arm around him for support.

Who knew Baz was a quiet drunk?

By the time we get to bed, he's barely keeping himself upright. I practically have to drag him up the stairs. Once we're inside our room, I dump him on the bed and pull out the covers from under him.

I consider helping him change but instantly shut down the thought. No reason to torture myself, also it feels like a line I shouldn't cross. It's not like we're friends.

I do loosen some of his buttons, though and put the covers on him. By the time I'm done, he's almost dozing off, so I head toward my own bed, taking the covers and slipping inside.

"Thank you, Simon,"

My heart seizes, and the onslaught of emotion brings tears to my eyes.

_He called me Simon._

By the time I get myself under enough control to speak, he's already snoring, clearly asleep.

I try to do the same, but I know I'm not going to get any sleep.

_He called me Simon._

**BAZ**

I wake up to a pounding in my head. My mouth is dry, and my eyes hurt. There is water running in the bathroom

I get up and take a good look at myself. I'm still in the clothes I was wearing when I went to the catacombs.

Huh. Must have stumbled in drunk and crashed on the bed. I certainly don't remember coming back. Thank god, it's a Saturday.

The water in the bathroom shuts off, and a few minutes later, Snow steps out.

I have to do a double-take as I look at him. Despite having washed up, he looks awful, red eyes and a pale complexion.

"What's wrong with you, Snow?" I say, mockingly, "The day already too much for you,"

He glares my way, "Shut up, vampire,"

I sigh dramatically, "Accusation again,"

He just grumbles. There is a small silence until I speak up again.

"Do you know when I came back to bed?"

Surprisingly, he tenses and curls his fingers, "You don't remember,"

I frown and analyze his behaviour, "What's wrong? Did I do something odd? Or is a drunk person too much for your small brain to comprehend?"

He doesn't answer, and I start to get worried that I really did say something incriminating, but then he uncurls himself and shakes his head.

"You were just really drunk, singing some weird songs," He mumbles, picking up his training bag. He doesn't seem to be lying.

I sigh in relief, "I only know refined music, Snow. You're just too idiotic to understand it,"

He shrugs and dashes out of the room. He probably doesn't want to be late for a training session with his precious Mage. I hear a small bang as he trips somewhere outside the room.

I shake my head and snort.

_What a disaster?_

**SIMON**

The training session isn't for another hour but I just can't stay in the room with him anymore.

So I run to the woods, away from Baz. Baz with his perfect hair, posh clothes and haughty attitude. With his pretty lips and beautiful face that I want to press kisses too.

I can't though cause he's my enemy and he's straight. He's perfect and I'm the worst chosen one to be chosen.

_He called me Simon._

I stumble and sink into the ground, tears clouding my vision.

_He called me Simon and I wanted to kiss him._

_I love him. He hates me._

_I have to kill him. I don't want to kill him._

_He'll kill me._

I sob loudly into my hands. No one is going to hear me after all.

_I love him._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy!


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